am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
