So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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