So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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