How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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