the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize