Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
