i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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