We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
