In the future we'll all be gay
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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