TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
