thus making me awesome and them whores
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
