She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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