tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
