Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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