So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Couch. On fire.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
