I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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