I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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