Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
