i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
