i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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