God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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