Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize