is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
