my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
