Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
