question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
