I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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