So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
