"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
