i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
