please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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