I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize