So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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