I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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