What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
