I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
