Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
