Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
