I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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