i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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