Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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