so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
