There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
