Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
