wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize