office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I just sharted jello shots
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