It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
