Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize