he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
