just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
