Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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