I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
