and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize