If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
