Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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