I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
